Strength and Friends
by cinithea
Summary: Rodney and Ronon are captured. Each learns something about strength.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: This is the first fanfic that I've published. Helpful criticism is welcome- if you see mistakes or anything that doesn't seem to make sense, let me know. Reviews are encouraged. _

Samantha Carter looked at the pile of reports in front of her. Of all the things she'd ever considered doing when she left SG-1, being a nanny wasn't one of them. Sure, officially she was the head of the Atlantis base, the person who was supposed to be in charge. In reality, however, she wasn't truly in charge; Sam knew that the men and women who'd been here from the beginning weren't ready to accept someone other than Elizabeth Weir, not yet. The newer people were better, but still, they went with tried and true. The real leaders on Atlantis were Sheppard and Mckay. She snorted. If one didn't charm you into following him, the other would tear you apart with his words and browbeat you into compliance.

She'd read the mission reports- all of them, and still had no idea how this group of people could go into stressful situations together. Sheppard was a maverick in almost every sense of the word- charming and unpredictable. Teyla was a natural diplomat, but also a warrior. Ronon was in a class all by himself- a soldier who had survived being hunted by a horrible enemy. And Rodney McKay. Well, he'd certainly surprised her. She would never in a million years have guessed that the abrasive, self-centered egotist was capable of half of the things he'd done, not the least of which was to risk his own life for someone else.

She remembered how it was at the SGC. The odd feeling that even though these people drove her crazy, they were the people closest to her in the whole damn galaxy. God, she missed them all, even Vala. She thought of how busy she used to be, working late in her lab under the mountain. She was still busy, but now spent most of her time reading reports from off-world teams, supply requisitions from the department heads, and notes left by Dr. Weir. The last were actually enjoyable, giving her valuable insight into the people she managed.

Management. She stifled a groan. She was management. A Colonel in the US Air Force, a physicist and expert on alien technology with 10 years field experience, and she was a desk jockey. No more off world missions, very little use of her scientific knowledge. She remembered O'Neill saying once that he didn't' think he could be 'The Man', well she was now 'The Man'. Sam clasped her hands on the desk and closed her eyes.

The chevrons on the gate suddenly started lighting up. She hurried to the control room, knowing this wasn't good. No teams were scheduled to check in for hours. God, she missed Earth.

"Receiving IDC... It's Colonel Sheppard's team!" the tech yelled.

Her stomach knotted. That team had only left two hours ago to investigate a strange power reading. "Lower the shield."

Teyla ran through the gate, stumbling under Sheppard's weight. As she called for a medical team, the Athosian lowered him to the floor. Sam's eyebrows rose as he cursed and slapped the floor. Everyone watched the gate expectantly, waiting for the rest of the team. A blast shot through, followed by bits of rock and dirt, then the gate shut down. The knot in her stomach suddenly tightened. This was not good. "Teyla, where's the rest of your team?"

Sheppard started slapping away the reaching hands. He struggled to his feet. "Damn it to hell! Dial them back! Send in a jumper!"

"Colonel Carter! They were directly behind us!" Teyla's face betrayed her anxiety. "Ronon was helping Dr. Mckay as he was also injured."

Sam spun to the tech. "Dial the planet!" The first five chevrons lit up, then faded. "What's wrong?"

"We can't establish a wormhole."

"Could they be dialing out?" Carter hoped they weren't moving Ronon and Rodney to another planet.

"Colonel Carter, I believe it's possible the other gate was damaged." Teyla called.

The tech looked at her with a pale face. Sam took a deep breath. "Get Radek in here! Teyla, I need to know what's going on. As soon as Dr. Keller checks you out, find me." She turned back to the gate, wishing she wasn't the one in charge.

Teyla's briefing was short and to the point. The natives had known who they were, telling them they wanted to make an alliance. They had seemed very impressed with Dr. Mckay, trying several times to separate him from the others. When the team had decided to go back to the gate to discuss the situation with Carter, they'd attacked. In the firefight, Sheppard had been shot. Teyla had helped him make it to the gate. Ronon had been guarding Rodney while he dialed Atlantis and sent the IDC. As she had assisted Colonel Sheppard through the event horizon, Ronon had grabbed Mckay and pushed him towards them. That had been the last she'd seen of them.


	2. Chapter 2

"Mckay!" He felt a tapping on his cheek, then a light slap.

"Ow! What- Oh God!" He cried in pain as he came back to awareness. "Ronon... what happened? The others?"

"They made it. We didn't. Captured."

Ronon was doing something to his leg. Oh, that's right, he'd tripped and had fallen on a farm instrument of some sort. Who has the terrible luck to step on a rusty tool in the middle of nowhere? Only Rodney Mckay. He looked around. Oh, please. He closed his eyes. "Not again. Can't we ever find a planet with friendly people? I mean, come on, how many times can we be held prisoner?"

"As many times as we aren't fast enough." Ronon rumbled as he pulled the bandage tight. "Sorry."

"Gah!" Rodney waited for his head to stop spinning. "That was a rhetorical question, you know. Do I remember that the DHD and gate were damaged by an explosion? Oh, that's just great! We're going to die!"

Ronon just cocked any eyebrow at him. "We'll figure a way out of here." He rose to circle the stone room. One door, one window.

"And do what? We can't establish a wormhole with Atlantis, or anywhere else, for that matter, we are on a desolate wasteland of a planet and I have a hole in my leg. Even if we escape from this cell, we have nowhere to go. And it would take two months for a ship from Earth to reach us. Do we even have our gear?"

"No." Ronon was carefully feeling along the seems of the barred window. "Huh."

"What? What is it?"

"Can't get out that way." Ronon shifted back to Rodney's side.

"I guess we can sit here and imagine all the scenarios leading to our impending deaths." Rodney was getting tired. Guess blood loss and low blood sugar would do that, he thought.

"Why are you like that all the time? You give up too fast." Ronon's eyes gleamed at him.

"I don't like to be disappointed."

Ronon seemed to ponder that, then changed the subject. "What do you think they want?" He asked the question softly, as if he was working something out in his mind.

"To kill us, probably. Maybe. I have no idea. Why does anyone ever want us?" Rodney's eyes slid closed, thinking. There was something strange about the situation. "Why didn't they want Sheppard this time?" And then he got it, the thing that had bothered him about the ambush. None of the inhabitants they'd come across had tried to kill him. They'd aimed deadly fire at Teyla, Ronon and Sheppard, but only attempted to stun Mckay. That meant they wanted him specifically. Alive. But for what? Deciding the answer could wait for now, he slid slowly into sleep.

Shortly after dawn, two of the natives entered. Ronon stood protectively in front of Rodney, who was wavering in and out of consciousness. "What do you want?"

Staring at him, the taller of the natives smiled slightly. "We want only to please our Gods."

Wraith worshipers! He wanted to smash them into little bits, but the second pulled out a stunner. The former runner growled and tried to stay between the scientist and their captors. With a small grunt, the shorter one simply aimed the stunner and fired. Ronon's last thought was that he'd failed.

Rodney woke to hands pulling at him, causing a burning pain to shoot from his thigh to his brain. "Agh! Watch it! Oh, no, no-" he caught sight of Ronon, "what did you do to him? Is he dead? Oh my God, you killed him! I won't help you, I won't talk, I won't build bombs, I won't tell you how to build bombs, I-" Something hit him in the head.

"Enough! Everyone talks- sooner or later. I will make sure it's sooner. The information you have is valuable and desired by my Gods." A fair skinned native leaned into his face, his eerily violet eyes cold and flat. "You will provide life for my people, the proof that we are loyal to the Wraith."

"What? Seriously, if you mean to trade for your world's safety, let me tell you, the Wraith never honor their deals. They always, always go back on their word." Rodney was panting now, trying to pull his good leg under him so he wasn't being dragged along the stone floor. Just your garden variety bad guys trying to keep their people safe by playing along with the really bad guys. "They will either kill you and destroy your whole planet, or they'll eat you!"

"I assure you, we are not trying to save our planet. We are going to become the high priests of a new religion, given immortality and power."

Oh, okay, crazy and sincere Wraith worshipers. Another example of his amazingly bad luck, he sighed, getting tired of all of it. "Look, I know I am the most brilliant man in two galaxies, but you will not get the address to my home planet, which is what I'm assuming you want."

"Lantean, that is only one of the things you will tell us. And we _will_ obtain the information we seek." The man stopped in front of a heavy wooden door. Pushing it open, he and the other man hauled Rodney in by his arms. The room held only a few things, a table covered in small wooden boxes, two chairs and half dozen lanterns. He felt ill when he noticed the ring on the wall, and the stains underneath.

They yanked his arms together in front of him and tied them with wire. He tried to maintain his balance on his good leg, but the shorter, slightly darker man shoved him backwards. His back hit the floor with a thunk. Knowing he was screwed anyway, he closed his eyes and started to kick out with his good leg. Rodney felt something sharp against his neck. "If you die, I will kill your friend."

He froze. Opening his eyes, he saw the short one, his expression somewhat pleased leaning over him. Hey, why don't I call him Barney, he thought wildly, staring at the purple eyes. He decided he'd call the other one Cliff. He had the random thought that he was doing this just because Sheppard always made up names for them. Where was the colonel now? He wondered if he was alright.

They lifted him off the floor, and Barney roughly pulled him over to a chair. After they'd tied him to the chair with more wire, they began opening the boxes. Cliff turned to him and Rodney caught a glimpse of something in his eyes that made him shiver with revulsion. Dear God, the man was really looking forward to torturing him! "Please, torture is so primitive. It takes more skill and thought to simply cajole and trick information from your captives. Look, though I'm brilliant, I don't do well with torture. Please. I mean, I can't focus on anything but the pain, and- What the hell is that for?"

Cliff was holding what looked like a large, barbed fishing hook. Rodney began to pant. He had a sickening feeling that no matter what it was for, it wasn't good. "No matter what you do, I can't tell you what you want to know! I won't. No, no, no... no, no- AAH!" He looked down at the hook sticking out of the thigh of his- previously- good leg. He gasped, feeling three inches of metal shift inside. He screamed when another was shoved into his other leg. He screamed again when they hooked his shoulders. By the time there were seven of the things in various places, he was beyond screaming. He kept his eyes screwed shut, not wanting to see what they were doing.

"It won't matter, Dr. Mckay. Yes, we know exactly who you are. You will answer our questions, and we will give you to the Wraith. They are already on their way." Barney cuffed him in the head and Rodney opened his eyes. Cliff was looping small wires to each hook. His gaze traveled from the hooks to where they all converged. Oh crap! A generator. His heart was racing already, his blood sugar was low, and he was bleeding to death. Now he could add electrocution to his list of "Possible Causes of Death in the Next Several Hours".

"Tell me the gate address to your planet." Cliff had walked over to stand next to his partner. "If you do, we will not hurt you."

Rodney looked into those eyes that were anticipating his pain. For a second, he thought about doing it, after all. He was weak, everyone knew that. But then he thought of Jeannie, and little Madison, and even Carson's mother, and he knew he couldn't do it. "I hope the Wraith suck you dry little by little!" Barney nodded, and he knew he'd died and gone to hell.


	3. Chapter 3

"What the hell do you mean you still can't dial back?" Lieutenant-Colonel John Sheppard was pissed. "Get Zalenka to fix it!"

"John, our gate is fine. It's the other gate. We just have to wait for the Daedalus." Sam was visibly trying to retain her composure. "There isn't anything more we can do from here."

"How far out are they? I'm going with them."

She watched as he struggled to sit up. "You were shot, you can barely move, and you are staying right there. Look, I know how you feel." She held up her hand. "I do. I've had members of my team, my family missing. I've had to leave them behind. I've even watched them die inches away, and been helpless. But right now, the Daedalus is en route, and stopping here to get you will simply cost the rest of your team two days. Colonel Caldwell will get them."

Hazel eyes blazing, John wasn't done. "I'll meet them along the way. I'll take a jumper." He snatched his radio from his bedside table. "Zalenka! Find me a planet with a gate along the Daedalus' course... Yeah, do it now...OK, thanks...Yeah, I suppose...Fine. Let me know."

"Colonel."

"No, I'm doing this. I'll take Teyla and Lorne's team with me." He stared at her defiantly. "But...I ...am...going."

She sighed. "Colonel Caldwell and his crew-"

"They aren't from Atlantis!" His hand hit the bed near his leg. He winced and gently rested his hand over the bandage on his leg. "They live on a ship, and yes, some of them have been doing this for awhile, but they haven't done it in the Pegasus Galaxy. It should be our own people going after them."

She was surprised he had said it out loud. Everyone here was fiercely protective of Earth, but to many expedition members, it wasn't home anymore. They were in a new galaxy, not totally cut off as they'd been at first, but they had learned to do without Earth, to do it all alone. They had made a new home for themselves. Atlantis.

Sam was at loss. She understood, in a way, but it made her uncomfortable. Maybe that was why she hated it here. She was homesick and sometimes didn't understand these people. They were as alien to her in some ways as the Wraith. She sighed and looked down at John. This was one battle she wouldn't win. "Fine, but you will not leave the Daedalus. You can join up with her, but you will not be an active part of any rescue operation. Is that understood?"

"Yes," he bit out. "As long as I'm there." Some of the tension seemed to leave him now that he had a plan of action. Not that he planned on staying on the Daedalus and letting Caldwell's people do all the work. "I better rest up before I have to go, so if you don't mind?"

She shot him a tight smile. Both of them were aware that when push came to shove, he would win every time. And he would do what he felt he had to, orders be damned.

When it came time for him to leave two weeks later, she was surprised all over again. He stood, leaning a bit on Teyla. Lorne stood to the other side. She asked for explanations from the others who'd assembled to go along.

Zalenka's "In case there is technology involved that must be deactivated and Rodney is not available" was flimsy at best, since the ship had scientists and engineers.

Dr. Keller's "I know his medical history better than the doctors on board. He's a difficult patient and Ronon is worse" was only marginally better.

The eight extra marines simply said, "We volunteered." That was apparently all the explanation they felt they needed to give. And damned if she didn't feel wonder at the loyalty of the people here, rather than irritation that they were so very close to mutiny.

88888

Ronon paced. He sat. He napped. He waited. Just when he was ready to start throwing himself at the door, howling in anger and frustration, he heard footsteps coming down the hall. His vague plan of escape dissolved as soon as he saw the scientist. The two men just dropped him face down on the floor and left. Ronon cautiously turned him over. He felt himself heat with anger, then turn ice cold as he forced himself to focus. He couldn't let loose the rage. That would not solve anything. Instead he concentrated on taking care of McKay as best he could. He didn't have medical supplies, food or water, but at least he could bandage some of the wounds.

He tore the bottom of his shirt into strips, and replaced the bandage on his leg. He had nothing to clean the injuries with, so they'd be dealing with infections soon. They'd left some kind of metal pieces in him, embedded in the muscles of his arms, legs, stomach and back. He could smell charred flesh, and knew what those men had done. He saw a few bruises, but figured most of the injuries were from being shocked. Taking out the metal would probably cause more damage than leaving them in, so he didn't touch them.

He took the smaller man's pulse and found it to be fast and irregular. Nothing he could do for that, either. He gently slid McKay over to the wall where they could at least huddle together for warmth. He hoped they'd bring food and water. He remembered asking Carson about Rodney's claims of hypoglycemia and had been told that yes, it was life-threatening if not controlled. After that, he'd made sure he carried a few pieces of chocolate with him, though he'd never really needed them. Luckily, he still had a few hidden, along with one knife. He'd keep that his secret for now.

The Satedan listened to the hitching breaths from the man beside him and again felt the anger boiling. He knew Sheppard would come as soon as he could, but didn't think it'd be in time. Absently he settled McKay closer in to his side, mindful of the metal hooks, and felt a hand grab for his shirt.

"What? Ow!"

"Easy, it's me."

"Oh, god. That was not fun."

Ronon frowned at the top of his head. "Didn't think it was. What did they want?"

The scientist choked a laugh. "The usual 'Tell me where Earth is, how do you make a hive ship better' crap. They really believe the Wraith are gods." He snorted. "Oh, and they sent some kind of signal out, so the Wraith are on their way. Idiots."

"We got another problem."

"Oh, of course we do. Well?" Rodney shivered against him and sat up.

"We're not on the same planet." Ronon watched him laugh hysterically. "You gonna be OK?"

"No. I'm not. I'm really not. Atlantis isn't going to find us."

"We'll find a way." Ronon wasn't sure they could.

"They'll be back soon. They told me they'd give me a chance to 'consider my options'." Rodney shook his head. "I can't do it. I can't talk, but I can't take torture."

"We'll think of something."

"You mean I'll think of something. Hey, they must have a gate here, right? I wonder how they got the DHD to work. They must have fixed it somehow, or maybe there was another gate? Or was there a ship? No, I don't think so, unless there was a planet with a gate very close." He sighed. "I'm so tired."

"Sleep. I'll be here."

"I know that. Hello? Where else would you go? " Drooping down into Ronon's side, he said, "You'll be here."


	4. Chapter 4

_musik-luvr, thanks for catching the spelling on that. _

_Thanks to all who reviewed. I combined the chapters to make them longer so there are fewer of them. _

--8-8--

When John got to the bridge, Caldwell gave him a glare. They had never really liked each other, but there had been respect growing between them. Now it seemed that Sheppard was encroaching on his territory or something. Or maybe it was the fact that Carter had ordered Caldwell to take a baker's dozen of Atlantis personnel on board.

"It'll take us close to three weeks to get to M25-459. Why don't you all get settled into your quarters and visit the mess." He sent a hard stare towards Sheppard. "And make sure your people don't get in my people's way." _Translation: You are unwelcome guests, and this is my ship._

"That's fine, Colonel. We could use a good meal. We'll see you later to start working out a rescue op." _I understand, but we're going for my team-mate, my friend. Keep that in mind. _With a polite nod, he left the bridge.

A few days later, Sheppard, Lorne and Zelenka were sitting together. All wore grim faces and spoke in quiet tones.

"What's the plan?" Lorne questioned.

"Colonel Caldwell's not telling me. Maybe it'll be simple, you know, beam them out with the Asgard technology." Sheppard didn't think so, though. Nothing really goes easily in the Pegasus galaxy.

Radek was already shaking his head. "No, there is too much interference from power source. Asgard beam will not be able to lock onto them. Also, unless they use a radio, we won't know where they are."

Lorne apparently had absorbed some of Rodney's pessimism, because he had to add, "They might not even be on the planet. It's possible they gated somewhere before the gate went screwy."

"Yes, is also possible the energy source was a ship, and they were taken off the planet that way. There were some readings consistent with residual energy left by hyperspace drive. It's interesting because the interference was not noted in Ancient database, so is something more recent." Radek looked both excited and glum.

John vaguely recalled Rodney saying something about some kind of interference. If the scientist had mentioned a ship, he thought would have heard it. He needed to pay more attention to McKay when he rambled on. "I guess we'll find out more when we get there. And let's think positive, shall we? We'll find them."

"Sheppard," his radio startled him, "I'd like you to come to the bridge."

"Understood." He looked at his friends. "Caldwell wants me on the bridge." He rose, not even questioning when the others followed him. He wasn't surprised to see Teyla already there, nor the Lantean marines hovering in the corridor outside.

"Long range sensors have picked up a hive ship in the area. They're on a course for the same planet we are. And Hermiod says they'll get there first." Caldwell stared hard at John. "We'll do everything we can, but it doesn't look good. I'm sorry."

John stared at the screen. He wanted to smash it, to scream. Instead he leveled a hard stare on Colonel Caldwell. "If we miss them, we'll go to the planet and get whatever information we can. They wanted McKay for something, and I want to know what."

Somehow he knew Caldwell understood what he was really saying: _If I don't get my team back, I'm going to find out if the people who took him are still there and if so, I'll make them pay._

--8-8--

"I'm sorry, sir, we've searched the planet, and they aren't here." The marine looked just as frustrated as John felt.

"So they did manage to dial out. Zelenka, any way to find out where they went?"

"The DHD was damaged. They had a Wraith dart, perhaps?" Hair waving slightly as he shook his head, he said, "No, there is no way to tell."

"Dammit! We were so close!" His fist shot out to slam into the wall.

"Here, let me see." Keller gently took his hand. "We'll find him. I know we will."

"What, should we fly up to every hive ship in the galaxy and politely ask if they have our scientist?" John snapped

"The hive ship!"

"What?" Everyone turned to stare at Lorne.

"Well, long range sensors can pick up the ship after the first jump and project a course, right?"

"Yes, but after that? The minute they go into hyperspace again, that's it, they're gone." Zelenka's eyes narrowed in thought.

"I have an idea." Lorne explained as he led them to Hermiod.

--8-8--

"Did I ever tell you I used to play piano? Oh, it's a musical instrument. Anyway, my teacher told me I had no sense of art." He looked down at his broken hand. "I guess it's a moot point now, anyway."

"We'll get out. The doc can fix your hand." Ronon squinted at the hand in his lap.

"If you make it out, make sure Radek remembers to tell Jeannie that I died doing something heroic." He let out a small yell as Ronon set the bones in one of his fingers. "I really don't want her to know what happened here."

"You're not going to die McKay. The Wraith want you alive, you being a genius and all." Ronon smiled a bit. "Unless they get tired of your complaining."

"Oh, hardy-har. Make fun of the dying man." Another finger, another yell. "God, why does it hurt just as much to fix a broken bone as it did being broken?"

"Don't think about it."

"Yes, right, try to distract myself from the agony of you yanking my broken fingers around. OW! Did I ever tell you that the CIA- that's an American spy organization- tried to recruit me when I was in sixth grade? This was after I built an atomic bomb for the science fair." He gazed off into nothing. "I wonder how my cat is doing. Cats are the- Ahh! OW! Cats are the perfect pet. The love you but don't require nearly as much care as a dog."

"I wouldn't know." Ronon was beginning to feel sick. Every time they took McKay, he was afraid they'd bring back a corpse. He knew the Wraith wanted him alive, but that didn't mean the humans wouldn't go too far and kill him. He kept straightening the bones in Rodney's hands as best he could. If they were rescued, he hoped he could prevent the scientist having to have them all re-broken.

"Ronon?" I'm not getting out of here alive, am I?" Rodney's voice was soft.

"Yes, you are." Ronon slid a piece of candy into the man's mouth. "Shut up and eat this. It's the last one."

"If you see a chance, take it. Don't worry about me."

"Shut up, McKay. I'm not going anywhere."

"You should. I think when we first met you, you might have left me. Maybe not Sheppard or Teyla, but you'd have left me."

"Probably."

"Hmm. I don't really blame you. Most people think I'm oblivious to the fact that few people like me. Most people would rather leave me somewhere. I know what I'm like."

"You're not that bad- when you're quiet."

They sat in silence. Then, "McKay? I don't really mind when you talk." The only answer was a small snore.

--8-8--

Rodney hated this place. He cracked his eyes open, looking for Ronon. It was pretty dark, barely enough light to make out the door. He immediately panicked when he didn't see anyone else. He didn't want to die alone. He'd rather not die at all, of course, but in the current situation, he was pretty sure it was a given. Either Barney and Cliff would enjoy their work too much, or the Wraith would feed upon him. Whichever way it went, it was better to be with Ronon. He just hoped the big man didn't get all weird when it happened. The door opened and something large was hurled forward. Oh, there he was.

"Hey, you alright?" Rodney struggled to sit up. "Ronon?"

Worried when Ronon simply writhed on the floor making odd noises, Rodney managed to drag himself over, grunting in pain. He reached a shaking hand towards the former runner and felt his face. Ah, a gag! That explained the noises. He pulled it down over the former runner's chin. Ronon's curse absurdly made him feel better. He was so grateful that he wasn't alone and that Ronon was talking he barely understood what Ronon was saying.

"McKay! Hey, McKay!"

Snapping his eyes up, he tried to focus on the man's face. "Yes, yes, what?"

"Think you can give me a hand?"

"Uh..." Ronon didn't need help. Wasn't that why he carried all those knives? His brain wouldn't seem to work. "OK? But I only have the one, you know. They broke the other one all up. That's right, you know that, don't you?"

"McKay! Look at me!. Focus, think about helping me out of these ropes. Got a knife in my boot I can't reach. Grab it for me."

Rodney obediently slid his hand along Ronon's leg towards the boot. It was pretty slimy, or... Suddenly more alert, he realized it was blood. Oh my God! "They did kill you! Oh God, how bad is it?"

"What?"

"The blood, you don't feel it? Shock, that's what it is." Sweating heavily, the physicist began feeling his way up from Ronon's leg to his waist. "Hold still, I'm trying to find the gaping hole in your body before you bleed to death."

"McKay, it's not mine."

"Huh?"

"It's not my blood. It's yours. It's dripping all over."

"Oh. Well, then, that's still not good. Well it is kinda." Clumsily, he patted Ronon's shoulder. "I might, well, miss you some, a little. I mean, I don't have many friends. I guess you'd be one of them. At least from my side of things. From your side, I'm probably a rather irritating amusement."

"Uh, McKay, the knife?" Ronon had stilled while Rodney was speaking. He'd been listening, growing more worried with each word. He could still understand what the smaller man was saying, but he was speaking more slowly every second and slurring his words. He needed to see what more they'd done to him.

When he was free, Ronon gently dragged Rodney back over to the wall. He was still talking about being friends. There was a bit of light here from the crack around the door, but not much. It was pretty late in the day. Staring intently through the dimness, he could see fresh bruising. He tilted his head, seeing the marks on the Lantean's neck. Looks like they'd tried to hang him today. He was pretty surprised by how long Rodney'd held out so far. He was a mass of bruises, cuts, tears and breaks. They'd electrocuted him, hung him, subjected him to near drowning, extreme cold and barely fed him. Yesterday, he'd come back with many shallow cuts across his chest and arms. His blood sugar had to be really low- what blood was left in him.

He tore the little left of his shirt into makeshift bandages. The wound on the physicist's leg was infected and he tried to keep it as clean as possible. They had started leaving water, so he used a bit of that to wipe away some of the blood from Rodney's neck. When the smaller man stopped talking, Ronon began. He spoke of his family, his friends. He talked until his throat was dry and his voice was barely a whisper. He kept going, though, because Rodney hated silence. He talked constantly when he wasn't totally absorbed in something, and even then he made noises. He was making noises now, but Ronon thought he was weeping.

He felt rage once again. They never did anything to Ronon. Twice, he'd been taken to a room, tied up and brought back here. He knew they did it just to show him who was in charge. He thought of planning his escape for that time, but they always took Rodney first, and he didn't know where they took him. He wanted to kill the two men who took Rodney. Slowly. They didn't bother trying to hide their enjoyment. He wouldn't though, not yet. It might be that Sheppard would yet come for them, and he knew the Colonel would want to do it himself.

Looking back down, he wondered whether it would be in a rescue attempt or revenge that Sheppard would do it.

--8-8--

"Dr. McKay! Wonderful news for us. The Wraith have come! We are near our reward!" Barney looked at them with insanity shining in his strangely purple eyes. "Get up and meet your Gods!" He grabbed Rodney by his arm and yanked him upright. Rodney staggered and would have fallen if Ronon hadn't taken his other arm.

With only Barney there, Ronon thought now would be a good time to get out of here, but his half-formed thought faded as two Wraith entered the cell.

"I won't co-operate in any way." Rodney said it just as he had repeatedly stated it to Barney and Cliff, but now it was less certain.

"Our gift to you: Dr. McKay of the Lanteans." Barney swallowed. "We were unable to gather the information requested, but I'm sure you can do that."

"Yes." The Wraith answered slowly. "You would think that."

"And will you bestow our reward?" Cliff squared his shoulders, but kept his eyes down. "We have done as you've asked. We lured these men to our planet with the device you gave us and captured them."

The Wraith did that creepy head tilt-and-roll thing. "He appears to be damaged. Perhaps he will die before I get what I want. Was this what you were to do?"

"No, lord. But, he was resisting, and he refused to give us information..." Barney's voice dropped as the Wraith turned his gaze on him. It was full of nasty satisfaction. Barney started to whine, "No, No, we did as you asked! We captured the Lanteans! Please!"

Ha, Rodney thought, serves you right. Wraith always have their cake and eat it, too. This struck him as funny and he started to giggle. Ronon gave him a light nudge, enough to send pain shooting down his arm. He missed part of what the Wraith was saying, but heard the last two words clearly.

"Kill him."

Rodney and Ronon both stiffened, Rodney in panic, Ronon in preparation for battle. But the Wraith only grabbed them and took them outside. The last thing they saw before leaving the cell was a Wraith with his arm drawn back. Barney's screams echoed through the halls as they walked away.

Outside, several Darts whined above them. The sky's light hurt the prisoner's eyes. It'd been weeks since they'd been in sunlight. The sounds seemed too loud. They had been led (pulled) a good distance from the prison when Ronon made his move. Pulling his knife, he stabbed it into the eye of the closer Wraith. He grabbed McKay and dragged him towards the dense trees.

As he half-ran, half-carried McKay, he knew the escape was probably doomed. The gate was in the open, the scientist was half dead, and he had no weapons. Alone, he could fight them. He'd be alone if he didn't find somewhere to rest for a minute; McKay wouldn't last running this way. But maybe it was better to die this way than at the hands of the Wraith. No, there was no maybe. It would be better.

He kept going as long as he thought they could, and they were again in a small clearing. He looked with longing at the small brook, wishing they had time to drink. Both were slightly dehydrated from the barely sustaining amounts of water their captors had allowed them.

When he heard Rodney cough and gasp before going limp, he knew they were out of time. He still tried to avoid the culling beam, but with the heavy weight of McKay and his own weakness, he wasn't fast enough. Everything disappeared in a glow of bright light.


	5. Chapter 5

There was debris floating around the planet. There had been a battle, and even the winner hadn't really come out the winner. The remaining hive ship was still blazing with fire in places. There were visible holes in the ship and he could see the atmosphere blowing into space. John steeled himself. "Which one were we following?"

Radek blinked at him slowly. He knew from the moist eyes and slumping shoulders before the scientist even answered him. "The one that was destroyed."

"I'm going out there." Seeing the instant refusal in the commander's eyes, he added desperately, "I'll take the jumper, cloak it."

"What exactly do you think you will find?" Teyla asked softly.

"I don't know, maybe they're on the planet, maybe-" That was all he could think of. He turned from her soft and sad gaze. "Maybe they got away somehow. Ronon might've..."

"Sheppard, there is a hive ship-!"

He cut Caldwell off, "One damaged enough that we could easily take it!"

"There are darts all over the place. I can't authorize anyone going out there, even in a cloaked jumper." Caldwell lowered his voice and met his eyes. John knew what he saw was pity in the older man's eyes. He thought they were dead. "Look, I know it's hard to accept, but they're gone. It would have taken a miracle for them to get off that ship before it was attacked."

"So we're just going to leave?"

"No, until that hive ship leaves, we wait." Caldwell stated.

"Wait for what? To be sure they're dead?"

"Wait! Wait!" Radek yelled excitedly. He blinked as everyone turned to stare at him. "Oh, I am receiving a signal from the Wraith ship."

"What kind of signal?" John hurried over.

"It is an audio transmission."

"Let's hear it." Caldwell nodded to his man at the communications console.

"Lanteans, I believe I have something that belongs to you." Everyone froze for a moment, mouths dropping open.

"This Colonel Caldwell of the Earth ship Daedalus. Who is this?" Caldwell's eyes narrowed. Wraith usually attacked, they did not ask for conversation.

"Is Colonel Sheppard on board?" It was clearly a Wraith, and he clearly didn't want to talk to Caldwell.

"This is Sheppard." John's face reflected his confusion and a bit of hope, but his voice contained only his cocky flyboy tone.

"Sheppard, do you know who I am?"

"Is that you, Todd?" Sheppard looked to Teyla and Radek for confirmation. They had spent time with the Wraith and would recognize his voice. Both nodded.

"Yes. I am the one you call Todd. I have Dr. McKay on my ship. He will not be harmed further."

Sheppard's mind ran through possibilities. "What do you mean harmed further? What did you do to him? And is Ronon Dex there, too?"

"They are both here. We took them from the planet before we destroyed the other ship."

"Yeah, about that. Why did you do that, exactly?" Sheppard knew this Wraith, and they usually came out even with him, but he had two of his guys on board. "Should we be expecting company?"

"No, this was a matter of hive honor. Nothing to concern the rest of the Wraith or you."

"Hive honor? Fair enough. What kind of exchange are you talking about?" Sheppard's stomach was in a knot.

"Dr. McKay will make repairs to our ship, then he will be returned." Todd paused. "We will leave both of your men on the planet in three hours, near the ring. Your ship will not fire upon us."

Sheppard sent a look towards Caldwell. "Agreed. Three hours." He turned toward Caldwell, his face so open for a second that he looked years younger than he was. "I guess they were handing out miracles today."

"You seriously think you can trust this Wraith?"

"No, I don't, but I think he'll keep his word. So far, he's kept his bargains. " _But after that, all bets were off,_ he thought.

"I'll have to take my people down in a jumper."

"Colonel Sheppard, if you would.." He motioned to the side of the room away from anyone who would overhear. "I understand how relieved you are, but I made it clear that you wouldn't be participating in any rescue mission."

"Well, we aren't so much rescuing them as, ah, retrieving them, now are we? Sir." John bit his lip. "Look, I know we never really got off on the right foot, but this is half my team we're talking about. And I've dealt with this Wraith."

"If you have a problem with my decisions, I suggest you follow the chain of command. Don't do it in front of my crew." Caldwell began to turn away.

"Colonel, wait. I'm sorry." Swallowing, John met the older officer's eyes. "They aren't just my team. Ronon's my friend. And McKay's, well...What if it was one of your people?"

"Alright, Colonel. I'll let you take the jumper down. But the Daedalus will be standing by if anyone needs beamed out." Let's pray they don't, he added silently.

--8-8--

Rodney blearily gazed at the three Wraith standing in front of him. Why did this keep happening? You'd think after they'd done this a few times, fate would come up with something new. He didn't even feel afraid. Come to think of it, he didn't feel much of anything but exhaustion. And pain, there was definitely pain. And why was the air so filled with smoke?

"Oh, wait, I know you!" Rodney gave him a grin. Ow, that hurt. What happened? That's right, the Wraith! He tried to snap his fingers, but instead cried out when he remembered, too late, that those were the broken ones. "Todd, that's who you are."

"Dr. McKay. Are you able to stand on your own?" The Wraith called Todd said. "You must begin as soon as possible."

"What? Begin?" His brain was still pretty fuzzy. "What am I doing here?"

"I have need of your skills. The ship was heavily damaged in the fight with the other hive ship. All those who were on this ship with the ability to repair it were killed. I cannot do it alone. After we finish, you and the other will be returned to the planet."

"Fight? Other hive ship? Where was I? Oh, culling beam, unconscious. I guess you won?" Shaking his head, he tried to concentrate. "Why am I here? How am I here?"

"We managed to remove you from the planet before the others could get you."

"Uh, why? I mean, not that I'm not grateful, but, why?"

The Wraith stared at him. "My reasons are my own."

"OK, somehow that doesn't reassure me." He thought of something else. "Where's Ronon? Is he here?"

"Yes. Our time is short, Doctor. Fix the ship and we will leave you on the planet." Was it possible for a Wraith to look annoyed?

"Oh. Is that supposed to be a reward? You do know what the people on that planet did to me, don't you?" Rodney thought it was the greatest irony. He was the foremost expert on Wraith and Ancient tech in two galaxies, and the only beings that ever really appreciated his genius were the Genni and the Wraith.

"Do not concern yourself. They will not harm you."

Feeling slightly sick, he said, "Oh, God, you culled them!"

Todd smiled in the creepy way that Wraith did. "No, we did not. I find your Sheppard amusing. The ones who wish you harm are for him to deal with."

"Uh, OK, whatever. Can I go fix your ship so I can go home? That's what you said, right?" He was really feeling dizzy. And nauseous. "Ronon! Can I see him first?"

"This way." He grabbed Rodney's arm when he listed to the side.

Down the corridor a short ways, the Wraith stopped in front of a cell. Ronon was standing near the back. "Ronon, are you alright? Sheppard's somewhere around, and they want me to fix the ship for them, then they'll give us back. But I don't know if I can. I'm having trouble thinking clearly. I don't-"

"McKay, stop." Ronon walked slowly towards him. He nearly jerked Rodney off his feet when he pulled him away from the Wraith. He kept his hand under the smaller man's arm, keeping his eyes locked on the Wraith. "What's going on?"

Todd seemed to sigh. "I need Doctor McKay to make some repairs to my ship, then I will leave you on the planet for Sheppard."

"Sheppard's here?"

"No, but he will meet you on the planet."

"What do you want me to do?" Ronon directed his words towards Rodney, but sent a glare Todd.

"Huh?" What did he mean? Did he seriously think they could attack the Wraith and escape? _Huh, it was nice that he asked my opinion,_ he thought. But no, they were going to be released anyway, no sense in adding more injuries to the list. "Nothing, well, actually, I could use someone to help, you know, someone to hand me things and, ah, you know, I might need an extra hand, seeing as I only have one." He began to cough, a harsh, deep cough that made Ronon want to hit something. Instead he contented himself with sending a glare of hatred towards the Wraith.

Todd inclined his head and the cell door opened. "I will allow you to assist Dr. McKay."

When they arrived at the engine room, Rodney leaned on the console, muttering and talking to himself. "This would be so much easier with my laptop. And what idiot would override those fail-safes? This is a mess. I doubt I can even fix this!" He coughed some more, leaning on the runner while he tried to regain his breath. "Did they have trained monkeys do this?"

"McKay." Rodney looked up at Ronon. "You can fix this. You can."

"Oh, well probably, but I don't know if three hours-"

"You can fix this."

He sighed. "Alright. Tell me when that section of the console lights up." He knelt underneath and started to work, holding one hand close to his body, coughing and muttering as he did so.

--8-8--

Just under three hours later, Rodney was only on his feet due to the arm Ronon had around his waist. "That's it. I'm done. Though it... would have taken... someone else... a few more hours. Zelenka... could've done it... but anyone else,... not even close."

"You did good, McKay." He turned towards the two Wraith and sent them a challenging look. "You gonna let us go?"

"Yes." He led them to the Dart, and Ronon had to curb his impulse to fight.

"I hate these things." Rodney slurred. Then coughed again.

"Yeah." Ronon shifted his grip. The scientist was barely conscious.

Todd stared at them for a moment. "It is tempting to keep you. The doctor is every bit as capable as he states- often and loudly. However, I believe the trouble of keeping him would be... excessive."

Ronon lifted an eyebrow and almost found it amusing. The Wraith though McKay was- what had Sheppard called him? A high maintainence individual. Anyway, he belonged to them. There wasn't even the possibility that anyone else could have him. That was all that mattered. He had a thought.

"Do you have the guy who did this?"

The Wraith looked at him consideringly. "What did you have in mind?"

--8-8--

"There!" Sheppard ignored the ache in his leg as he followed Lorne and the marines to the dark lumps on the ground. One was a man he didn't know. The others were thankfully familiar faces. He went right towards Rodney.

Lorne called, "Ronon looks alright. Just unconscious"

"Jesus, McKay!" Sheppard checked the man's neck for a pulse. Still alive. He closed his eyes in relief. "Daedalus, beam him directly to the infirmary. The rest of you head back to the jumper."

"What about you?"

John eyed the man bound and gagged to the left of his friends. He stooped and read the note attached to the front of the man's shirt. It was pretty simple. A crudely drawn picture and a single ancient word. It was in Ronon's handwriting.

"Colonel, we're waiting by the jumper." Lorne stood a small distance away, nervously watching his CO and the man.

"I have something to do here first." He smiled at the man. It was a cold smile, born of a dark rage. "I want to introduce myself to our friend, here."

When John left the hanger on the Daedalus, he didn't go to the infirmary first. He went to his quarters to shower. He didn't want to drag the dirt around, and he needed time alone. He still felt the cold anger and rage that had made him a man he didn't want to be. But he'd be damned if he was going to let the man who'd done that to his best friend just walk away to enjoy the rest of his life.

None of the marines had said anything to him. Some of them might think he'd been in Pegasus too long. Some of them might be a little afraid of the legend of Sheppard, by the whispers of 'killer' that followed him. Some of them might be disturbed by the dark side of John's nature, his ability to become a man who walked in the shadows. But they all knew when it came down to it, he would die for any one of them.

Lorne was the only one who dared approach him. He simply sat and asked the question with his eyes. John nodded. It was done.

The soldiers didn't know what he'd done with the man, just that he'd done something. He wasn't going to tell them. He wasn't going to tell anyone the truth. Maybe Ronon, but definitely not anyone else.

John would remember it, though. What he'd done would stay with him the rest of his life.


	6. Chapter 6

As he entered the infirmary, Sheppard saw Teyla's worried face. He tried to send her a reassuring smile, but knew it fell flat. Instead, they sat by Ronon's bed.

After what seemed like several hours, Ronon started to wake. John leaned forward. "Hey. How are you doing?"

"Where's Mckay?" Ronon's voice was raspy. He looked a bit pale, but he'd recover quickly. Wraith culling beams left a human unconscious for a period of time afterwards, but didn't do any actual damage.

"They're still working on him. We're going to stop at the first planet with a gate and get back to Atlantis." He handed Ronon a cup of water. "What happened?"

"They were Wraith worshipers. McKay was supposed to be some kind of gift." Ronon managed to convey his disgust with them. "We were lucky this Wraith attacked them and culled us."

"And doesn't that just sound wrong?"

"Yeah." There was guilt in Ronon's voice. "They didn't do anything to me. The men who caught us. They took him, every few hours, and hurt him. He was strong."

"Sometimes, when it really matters, he surprises everyone."

"I wasn't surprised." Ronon looked at him like he was crazy. Then he looked away. "They used stunners on me. I couldn't do anything."

"You were there with him. Sometimes that's all you can do."

"If he dies..."

"He's not going to die."

"If he isn't right, after..."

"Ronon, he'll be fine." Sheppard said it forcefully.

"Sheppard, I was there."

"He'll be fine. We'll make sure he's fine." He wouldn't accept anything less. John patted the Satedan's leg. "Get some rest. We're a couple of hours out from the gate."

"Sheppard?"

"Yeah?"

"The man from the planet..."

"I took care of it."

"Good."

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The briefing was long. Dr. Keller gave a summary of Rodney's injuries and prognosis. Ronon gave a very terse description of what had happened while they were on the planet. He wouldn't meet anyone's eyes. Colonel Caldwell sat quietly for most of it, clicking his pen on the blank tablet in front of him. Teyla added very little, while Sheppard slouched in his chair.

"Why did they move them to another planet? How?"

"The natives weren't Wraith Worshipers." Lorne answered. "They used a crashed Dart's dialing system to open the gate. I guess the Wraith left it for them. It's too bad we couldn't rig up something like that. " There were several nods from around the table.

"We followed the ship, thinking they were on it, but they must have left some kind of message or signal to alert the Wraith to their new location." Caldwell added. "Hermiod said it's possible the signal was camouflaged by the interference."

"What made you trust a Wraith?" Sam Carter couldn't fathom that kind of decision.

"I told you, I sort of know him." John's eyes slid away and he absently rubbed at his chest.

Sam's eyes boggled. "That was the Wraith that Koyla allowed to feed on you?" _God, you've got some big ones, Sheppard_, she thought. Aloud she said, "So you made a bargain with him?"

"Well, it was more me agreeing to an offer he made." He looked at Lorne, who nodded.

"Yes, ma'am. Todd gave us terms, and we agreed."

"Colonel Caldwell," Sam didn't think he'd have been pleased. "Were you in agreement?"

"I don't think there was any other thing we could have done." He gave a nod, and went back to playing with his pen.

Sam knew that issue was dead. Caldwell hadn't complained, actually, he'd rather looked as if he respected Colonel Sheppard more than before. "And when you found our people, the marines said you questioned a man near the gate."

Ronon and John shared a look, while Lorne studiously avoided looking at anyone. Everyone was suddenly deaf, dumb and mute. OK, something happened here, she thought.

"We didn't see anyone else on the planet. But we didn't go far from the jumper." Lorne said it carefully, and Sam knew that tone. Saying something that was technically true, but leaving a lot out was a method Jack had used.

Teyla gave a small jerk and her lips twitched into an uncomfortable smile. "Yes, the scans showed no additional life signs in the immediate area."

"Well, at least we got our people back. I'll expect your written reports soon." Apparently, this was something no one was going to discuss. Knowing she wasn't going to get anything more, Sam ended the briefing and slipped away to visit Rodney.

The infirmary was quiet and the lights had been dimmed. She saw Zelenka sitting by Rodney, working on his laptop. "Hey," she said quietly.

"Hello. Come to sit with Rodney?"

"Yes, I thought I'd take a turn before the rest of them set up shifts." She smiled.

"Well, good. I have to go fix many things the others messed up while we were away. Don't tell him I said so, but things run much more smoothly when he is here."

"No, we certainly don't want to feed the ego."

Radek smiled, then it faded as he looked at Rodney. "I also need a shower." Radek pushed his glasses up. "I didn't want to leave him alone."

She smiled. "Go, I'll stay for a bit." As the other scientist left, she got her first good look at Rodney. He was covered to his waist with a blanket, but the rest of him... ! Sinking into the chair, she gently touched his undamaged hand. His face, neck and chest were mottled purples and yellows and greens. Pink tinged bandages covered his shoulders and parts of his chest. The total in stitches was enough to make her wince. Scabs littered every part of his body that was visible. The ghastly deep red band around his neck was ugly. And his left hand was just a white ball on the end of his arm. She was thankful for his sake that it wasn't his right hand. At least his breathing was better. Dr. Keller said he should be fine, but it didn't look like it. All in all, it looked like he was lucky to be alive.

She sat quietly, looking at someone she was responsible for wishing she wasn't. She still hadn't figured out exactly what happened to the man she'd known. Reading reports only gave you so much. After the last few weeks, she still missed her own team, but theses people were growing on her. They were becoming hers. It was quite the load to bear.

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Rodney woke to a hazy light. It was pale and soft. He could hear murmuring. He felt both heavy and light at the same time. Ah, the good drugs. Wait, why the good drugs? As the memories returned, he could hear a beeping steadily getting faster and faster. He heard someone yelling for the doctor, and then he slid back into darkness.

The next time he woke, he felt something cool and soft along his face. Opening his eyes, he saw Teyla leaning over him. "Rodney, I'm glad to see you. Do you need water?"

Swallowing, he managed a small nod. He kept his eyes on her as she lifted his head and slid the straw between his cracked lips. She smiled. "We are glad you are home. Rest, now. We will be here."

He smiled back as much as he could. When she took his hand in hers, he allowed himself to sleep.

The days crept by, and he slept. Understanding his fears, the nurses left the lights glowing softly in his section of the infirmary. His team sat with him, helping him drink, wiping his face. No one mentioned his jumpiness, nobody commented on his nightmares. They soothed him back to sleep, they touched him gently. He slowly lost the haunted look that had resided in his eyes. The bruising faded to yellow and green splotches, the stitches came out. He started regaining weight. He had some lingering soreness, and he'd have a few new scars, but all in all, he was in one piece.

As Rodney's body began healing along with his mind, he noticed several things. One, he wasn't often alone. Whenever one of his team wasn't there, either Carter or Radek sat with him and talked about the science department. Once, he even woke to find Lorne sitting by his bed reading a romance novel. He'd get some blackmail mileage out of that. The second thing he noticed was that Ronon didn't visit. Not that Ronon was a bedside vigil kind of person, but he usually spent some time sitting and staring or sharpening knives. And lastly, he noticed that no one mentioned Ronon. He finally asked Sheppard if Ronon was dead.

"Well, he feels kind of guilty, or something. You know, we don't really talk about that stuff." John shifted in his chair.

"Guilty? Why?" Rodney couldn't remember anything that he thought Ronon should feel guilty for.

"I don't know. Not getting you through the gate, not escaping, not being able to help you." He looked down. "Not being hurt."

"Wha- but that's- " Rodney sputtered. "That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard! He's avoiding me because he didn't get tortured?"

"Well, you know, Ronon does have that Superman complex."

"Oh, for- Tell him to visit me." Rodney's face scowled, but his eyes held a hint of pleading. "I mean, he's a caveman, but he should be smart enough to know better."

"I'll make sure he visits. Rodney... So, you're OK?" John bit his lip. He hated this stuff. "I mean, if you need to talk...or need a shoulder..." he winced.

Rodney looked at him in horror. "NO! No, I'm fine, or will be. I mean, what is that?"

"I just thought, you know, you might have some... issues... to work through."

"No, thank you, but just, no. If I took time to work through my 'issues' I wouldn't get any other work done."

"Fine. But I thought I'd offer."

"Yes, great. You offered. How did you find us?" Apparently, that was the end of the deep, intimate conversation.

"Lorne had this idea. See, we tracked them as far as we could with long range sensors, Radek plotted a likely course, Hermiod did something with the sensors and we just followed the hive ship. Todd's hive had already recovered you. We got there just after the fight. Some kind of family feud or something. Luckily, you weren't on the ship destroyed." John looked down. "I'm glad you weren't."

"So am I." A pause, then, "So Lorne came up with this idea? All on his own? Oh, I'll never let Radek live this down." He crowed.

John smiled, finally allowing the rest of the tension to fall away. They were all home.

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Finally, was Rodney's first thought when he woke up.

"What?" Ronon looked up.

"Did I say that out loud? Oh, well, I said 'Finally'. Where have you been? Everyone else visits me."

"Wasn't sure I should." Hmm. Ronon actually looked a bit uncomfortable.

"Oh, yeah. Sheppard told me about your guilt thing." He waved his hand at Ronon's scowl. "Whatever. That's a stupid reason to neglect your friends. I'm not someone who normally discusses the finer points of relationships- actually, I don't talk about things like that in general, because I'm so very bad at it. I wonder if it's because people aren't logical the way science is. That must be it, you know, theories have to be logical-"

"Mckay. Stop." Ronon settled in the chair. "Say what you were going to say."

"Oh, right, right. Uh, well, the thing is, you have nothing to feel guiltily over."

"I should have found a way to escape." Ronon's eyes were ashamed.

"Oh, sure, in between being _stunned_ all the time and taking care of me." Rodney rolled his eyes. "You helped me. And, well, you were there. You made things better by being there." There he'd said it.

"May as well have been alone."

"No! No, I wouldn't have made it without you." He was certain of that. "I would have told them things, eventually. I would have made them kill me. I would have lost my mind. You were there and none of those things happened."

"You're stronger than you think. I didn't do anything."

Rodney stared at him. "Why do I have to repeat myself? Yes, you did. You listened to me, you _talked_ to me- whole long paragraphs instead of grunts and short sentences. Don't think I won't remember that. You said I wasn't alone, someone would come for us, we'd be alright. When we were on the hive ship, you made me focus. And, I think, maybe, I didn't want to come back to that room and have to tell you that I broke. I had to be stronger because you were there. You did that. You can't tell me you don't know the value of not being alone after you spent those years as a Runner."

As Ronon shook his head and opened his mouth to respond, Rodney barreled on. "Baring my soul here, so shut up. I also know that if you had been alone, you would have made at least an attempt to escape even if you knew they'd kill you. So you showed remarkable self-restraint." His forehead scrunched up. "I don't think I could have done what you did. I mean, be like you were. I would have, well, you'd have died. Don't argue," Rodney pointed with his good hand. "It's not polite to argue with injured friends."

They sat in silence for a while. "So, they get those hooks out?"

"Yeah. And Keller's been keeping me on the good drugs. But they itch, you know, where they took them out. And I hate catheters, and I keep telling those voodoo nurses that this bed is too soft, but they don't listen. I'll have back spasms from this, you know." Rodney shifted. "Oh, they're finally letting me eat solids this week, so maybe you could bring me some cake. Nothing with citrus, though. I think the mess was trying to kill me yesterday since almost everything had citrus in it. Do you know how fast that could kill me?"

Ronon smiled at him and let the litany of complaints fade into background noise. They both knew that there would be dreams, and occasional self-doubt, but things were good. They were good.

* * *

_a/n Even though this was mostly about Ronon and Rodney, the rest of them had to have some role, no matter how small. And whatever John did and how he deals with it, well, that's not for this story. ;) Thank you to everyone who reviewed. I appreciated the suggestions and corrections.  
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